PJ: 08.15.09

The little one is about 6.5 mos old now. Yesterday I grabbed him and the camera and headed out to the yard for a quickie photo session. He's just so cute! And happy! (Just pretend you don't see the drool on his shirt.)

Since I don't have school photos to rely on, I've been a bit of a slacker when it comes to portraits of the kids. We have snapshots on the computer of various events and happenings, but not much in the way of portraits. It's that perfection again -- if they don't have matching outfits and perfect hair (meaning, recently trimmed), then I have an excuse not to take pictures. But now I've decided just to do one at a time, making it more manageable. A group shot is NOT going to turn out the way I'd like anyhow -- it's pretty much impossible to get them all looking the same direction and smiling nicely at the same time.

So this one is my first of the four, and I think it's pretty sweet. And I've already picked up the 8x10. Next step: Dig out a frame and hang it on the wall. Then, on to the next kid.

Jumping in

Perfect hair. Perfect family. Perfect house. Perfect hair. Perfect kids. Perfect religion. Perfect job. Did I mention perfect hair? The quest for perfection can become too much, too overwhelming. Even ... paralyzing.

I've thought about blogging off and on over the years but never made it all the way to the first post. It might seem silly, but it's my need for perfection that's held me back all this time. Even now, I'm typing and deleting and retyping these words over and over, trying to get them just right.

Is the punctuation right? What about the spelling? (It would be pretty embarrassing for a copy editor to have a bunch of mistakes in her posts.) Do the words flow? Is it too random? Will people think it's dumb? Will anyone even read it?

It's paralyzing. And so I do nothing, writing nothing. That way I don't have to worry about what people think or how I could have done it better. I write endless posts and e-mails in my head, where they swirl around endlessly, never flying from my fingers and onto the page.

But as I get older, I realize that these fears, and others just like them, are holding me back. Socially, emotionally, professionally, personally. It's time to just get over it and do something. Anything. And be willing to extend myself the grace to fail. In the words of the great FlyLady, we need "progress not perfection."

And so, here I am. Jumping in right here. I've even named to blog as a reminder -- Jminus, from our last name and a not-quite-perfect grade. It may not always be pretty and it may not (ever) be perfect, but that's OK. Tomorrow I'll make a different mistake.

Now, if I can just corral the kids long enough to post ...

Right now I'm thinking that this blog will be about family happenings and other things on my mind, with a casual theme of preventing paralyzing perfection. Right now that might include items about home-schooling, bargain hunting, debt reduction and saving, and the occasional rant on current events. But don't hold me to that.

After all, nobody's perfect. Even if they edit their posts over and over and over and over ...